Sta.sh
Kirei Jaegerjaques (or Jeagerjaques)
Kanji:
気 冷・ジャガージャック
Personal Information
Ethnicity/Race: Japanese/Shinigami
Species: Vizard/Visord
Nicknames: Rei, Red //And a few others ya dun need to know.//
Age: (appears) 17-18 //I'm young at heart//
True Age: 400 to 500 years old
Birthday: September 9th
Gender: Female //*looks down* Yup I'ma chick//
Height: 165 cm (5'5") //*twitches* I maybe a little short but that doesn't mean I can't kick yer shins!//
Weight: 57kg (125 lb) //I got boobs alright!//
Eye color: Deep Blue //It's a Jaegerjaques thing~//
Hair color: Bright Red //It's just something about me.//
Build: Under average height, toned body type //Kickin' ass makes ya look good//
Voice: Kirei's voice is far from a high pitched sound but is a lower Mezzo-Soprano sound that can sound stressed at time. When she's distressed in anyway (e.i. embarrassed, flustered, scared, or angry) he voice goes a few octaves higher.
Blood type: AB Positive //I ain't nothin' special if I was then, dun cha think I'd be ****'d//
Hobbies/Pastime: Kirei's favorite things to do consist of singing when she's alone and trying to find new recipes for things with strawberries most of her attempts at creating something tastey with strawberries ends in a unsavory mess. Otherwise she enjoys practicing her fighting style. One other things she enjoys is sitting in the rain //Ya know Strawberries and red bean paste ain't that bad~//
Likes: Strawberries, Roses, The color purple, the people she has grown to call her
friends, Rain, Music.
Dislikes: New people, nosey people, perverts, her hollow, her bouts of insanity.
Weakness: Fire, lose, her hollow, her mental instability, her temper, her breasts //****'ing back pains...//, using her zanpukato, kido based attacks.
Affiliation: Karakura Town, Hueco Mundo, S.S.
Occupation: None
Team: Humans of Karakura
Partner: Ichigo Kurosaki//My Berry-Boy//
Base of Operations: Karakura Town
Rank: N/A
Personal Status
Relatives: -Brother- Grimmjow Jaegerjaques (or Jeagerjaques)
-Father- Grimmshaw Jaegerjaques (or Jeagerjaques) <deceased>
-Mother- Miu Jaegerjaques (or Jeagerjaques) <deceased>
Education:(recently) Karakura Town High //I ****'ing hate math//
Zanpakutō:
Shikai: Bara(Rose) -バラ-
Bankai: Akai Bara (Red Rose) -赤いバラ-
Appearance: Kirei is under average height, with wild, spiked bright red hair that is kept in two styles one where some of her hair is in a long braid that reaches the middle of her back. The second is that her hair is out of the braid and is let free being pushed out of her face her un-braided hair which reaches past her hips. Her skin is the same color as Grimmjow's, and she also has the same eye color also. She is rather busty, and has a slender waist but thicker hips and a overall toned look. She wears a Shinigami uniform she got off a Shinigami deserter who was trying to be rid of it. She modified the uniform to take in account for her large chest. Among all of these things she has purple tattoos that flare out around her eyes. She gained these after she "won" her fight of dominance with her hollow.
Though not very noticeable she has light scars all across her hands and arms from the use of her Zanpakutō.
Personality: Kirei isn't one to open up to people. She feels that if she does people will use anything she says or does as a weapon against her. When she is particularly nervous she even has a problem with people having physical contact with her. Before her accident she was very angry on the inside and it was very difficult for her to create relationships with other people out of fear of them and the fear of hurting them. After her accident though she becomes more open, but she still avoids direct questions about her due to her not being able to answer them for the lack of memory or because she feels that only a few people should know those things about her.
Kirei can be very temperamental and will generally snap at someone if she isn't in a particularly good mood but over all she's a little moody tending to take things at face value.
Another thing about Kirei is that she can be a huge smart ass, loving to make puns out of things. She also loves to mess with those she feels close too. She won't usually be as open or as playful to other people unless she feels they can be trusted or they have the standing to be around her.
She is very prideful in some parts of her life which can give her an ego. She is only really prideful in her zanpakutou and her brother so she isn't on her high horse very often.
Kirei can be taken as shy when it comes to talking about imitate relationships and the things that go along with it (meaning- conversations on anything from sex to her feelings toward a person)
She may be considered shy when it comes to talking about her feelings for someone or her attraction for them, but this isn't the case when it comes to her body (but that's mostly her hollow). She knows that men find her sexually appealing and she isn't afraid to use that as a weapon against them (meaning using it as a distraction to getting information that she wants)
Kirei is also little sensitive about jokes projected at her. She either walks off (and pouts) annoyed or snaps at the person (which she secretly later feels bad about)
History: (will explain in a later)
Powers & Abilities:
Zanpakutou: Bara is a weapon that requires self sacrifice to use her. She iscompletely bladed with no handle so using it will cut the wielder's own hands, but Bara is extremely sharp so even touching her lightly can get a person cut.
Shikai abilities:
-"Sasu" (pierce). <i.When the wielder's hand is bleeding, they can splatter their enemy with the blood from their hand and shout Sasu the blood will glow and turn metallic before flashing violently as the liquid bursts into a rounded spike that pierces the enemy.
-"Toge" (thorn). Wielder can also use this special spirit energy attack. The user creates an invisible sheilding that can be blunt or sharp. The user can create this around Bara's tip or any of their limbs to catch, pierce, or smash any enemies just out of reach.
Bara's main technique is a sort of double edged combat style the more the user
uses it the more they must sacrifice to destroy their enemy.
Bankai abilities (not achieved): Bara becomes Akai Bara in this form, transforming into a long 6 1/2 foot jagged bow that shoots long arrows energy-type arrows. These arrows are created from her own spirit energy. So with each bolt fired Kirei's strength and endurance is decreased. Once the arrow pierces an enemy the arrow will solidify into a metallic solid and the tip will bloom into a razor-sharp rose within the enemy, causing a slow and painful death if left unattended. Kirei in has the ability to disperse the arrow if she wishes.
-"Mokusei no toge" the user's arm is drenched in both their blood and the blood of their enemies. Once they say "Mokusei no toge" The liquid on the arm will harden into almost wooden cast that is shaped like a long spike that has thorns covering almost every inch. This is a last resort attack for close combat.
Hollow Resurreccion abilities: Kirei takes this form once she is on the brink of death and falls unconscious. Her hollow takes control and becomes something similar to her brother's resureccion form. When Kirei is in this form her speed is very deadly and she will have taken this form while she was in bankai. In this state she will break her zanpakuto in half and use the two halves as long thin cleavers of some sort. Also while she is in this state Kirei becomes unaware of any injury to herself and only care about destroying her enemy Kirei will have the use of a gran rey cero.
More combat information:
After any of Kirei's fights where she uses her zanpakutou, Kirei is severely weakened and can take days to fully recover.
Kirei's hand to hand fighting style is taekwondo. She is a master at it, and combined with her insane speed, she is a deadly force to be reckoned with.
Kirei isn't as adept with sword fighting as she is with her hand to hand combat. She doesn't like to use Bara unless it's absolutely necessary.
Kirei's a vizard with a hollow that likes to use her body as a tool to seduce and then consume the spirit energy of those she feels are strong so she can gain enough power to take full control, instead of the small times that she gains it from Kirei.
Once Kirei leaves her Resurreccion she is weakened for anywhere from a few weeks to a month or two.
Kirei will never want to achieve her final form with her zanpakuto knowing that if she were to ever use it, it would take the greatest form of self sacrifice.
Kirei labels herself a Vizard but it isn't exactly the case she can use her hollow abilities but that's only when her hollow allows her. (which isn't very often) So Kirei's Vizard powers are very unstable and even fickle. Seeing Kirei with her mask is very rare...unless her hollow has gained control for a brief amount of time during the battle.
Shikai command: "Now, Bloom Bara!"
Bankai command: "Show 'em yer thorns and pirece! Akai Bara!"
Combat stats:
Melee- 4
Unarmed- 9
Projection- 3
Speed- 10
Intelligence- 7
Dexterity- 8
Strength- 5
Endurance- 8
Agility- 9
Energy- 7
Trivia:
-Kirei is mentally unstable because she'll never be able to fully suppress her hollow like most Vizards. The reason for this being that while she was in the "demi-hollow" state and moving into the fully hollowifed state her zanpakuto spirit Bara offered to save her, but with everything that comes with Bara Kirei had to give something up. Which ended up being her sanity seeing as -Kirei was almost too hollowifed to bring back. After Bara gave Kirei her abilities to save herself it left Kirei with a unstable soul. So her hollow can when Kirei is emotional unstable (Sad, Angry, in Pain, even overjoyed) her hollow can take control until Kirei can get a "grip" and pull her hollow back.
-Kirei died in a fire the tragic ordeal marked Kirei's soul in a way that left her hair a bright red.
Bara has a striking similarity to Kirei and Grimmjow's mother Miu, the other difference being that Bara's eyes are green while Miu's were gray.
-When Kirei was alive she had jet black hair.
-Kirei hide herself from other souls out of fear of her hollow taking control and consuming their energy, this eventually lead her to run in with Sauria. Who after discovering the curse that was about her tried to take her to her homeland to see if there was anyway to expel the demon within her.
-Kirei's left Sauria's troop feeling like a burden and continued her quest to find her brother hoping that being united with a member of her family would quell her volatile heart and mind.
-Kirei often comes of with odd nicknames for those she calls her friends but will commonly call someone "kid" even if they appear older then her.
-Kirei is often caught in a daze state daydreaming about things that range from a fairy tale to something more perverted and sexual. In this fog Kirei's motor skills become very impaired that she can often be found tripping over her own feet or even walking into doors and sometimes walls.
-During Kirei's stupors or fits of day dreaming that is when her soul is the most stable and when she has the most control over her mind.
Quotes:
"I don't need yer help! I'm fine on my own!"
"Why can't ya see it! We are related ya stupid bastard, why the fuck is it so hard for ya to accept it!?" (to Grimmjow)
"What are ya doin' with that needle?!...OUCH! Ya painted freak what did...ya...do to...*passes out*" (To Mayuri)
"*in a daze* Wha, no really? who are ya two...I've never met ya before..." (To Sauria and Danawa)
"Please, I don't wanna be a beast...I wanna keep my heart. I'll give anythin' just help me!" (To Bara)
"I will never let ya win! You'll never gain full control I'll always be on top you'll never get to hurt anyone! I won't lose this battle!" (To her hollow)
"Nah, that can't be right...There's no way I could love anyone...but then why do I always feel...so warm with him...the chill...it's gone when he's here." (to self)
"*takes a fighting stance* C'mon I dear ya! I'll curb stomp ya into next Tuesday before ya can even scream!" (to an enemy)
"*squeaks turning red* Wha-what are ya doin'?! There are people around! Stop it before someone sees us!" (to a lover)
"Strawberries?! Did someone say strawberries?! *looks around frantic*"
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♣ Personal Information
Quite an exhaustive list of traits you have there. Usually I say the more information, the better, but in this case a lot of those facts could be listed under 'Appearance' for the sake of keeping this bio neat. Height, Weight, Eye/Hair Colour, Build, that sort of thing. Hobbies, likes, dislikes etc. ought to go with the rest of her personality for the same reason, and her zanpaku-to would fit better with the rest of her powers. You don't have to do this - I just believe it'd make the whole profile easier to keep track of while reading. As it is, it's jumping all over the place and backtracking a lot, which can get confusing after a while.
Given how old she is, her birthday seems a bit anachronistic. Japan didn't adopt the Gregorian calendar until the late 19th century. If you really want to keep it, don't mind me, but it just one of those things that seems a bit odd...
Also, I'm not sure why listing her blood type is necessary...
I always found it quite appealing that Kirei had red hair instead of blue like every other Grimmjow-sister OC out there.
♣ Appearance/Personality
Kirei has quite a striking appearance, and once you learn who she is she's pretty much instantly recognisable. So, kudos to you for a great design job!
However, the paragraph in which you describe her is kind of disjointed, and hard to read as a result. I have no idea what this sentence in particular is saying: "The second is that her hair is out of the braid and is let free being pushed out of her face her un-braided hair which reaches past her hips."
Personality-wise, I'd like to know what in her past caused her to become such a closed-off, fearful person. I like that you give underlying reasons behind her percieved temperamentality [something that not a lot of people bother to do...]
I also understand that in order to save herself from her Hollow, she had to 'give up her sanity'. Sanity goes along with personality and all that, so I'd like to see some more details on that in the Personality section. What makes her 'insane'? How do her thought processes differ from the norm in order to make her certifiably insane?
(It'd also be nice to see a bit about her relationship with Ichigo in here
♣ Powers/Abilities
To be completely honest, I'm a bit confused as to what exactly she is, and why she has the powers she does. Given that you don't have her history explained in this sheet, I can't say it makes no sense at all, but for now, I really don't know how her powers make sense.
Shinigami as a base power, that's fine. [I'm suddenly wondering why she had to get her uniform from a deserter if she has links to Soul Society...] I do like the sacrifice theme her zanpaku-to has, and the fact that she has to hold it by what is essentially a blade really makes me wince
Hollow Resurreccion... Is this anything like Ichigo's full hollow form by any chance?
Stats - you say Kirei is a master of taekwondo and hand to hand combat, so how come her stat for melee combat is so low? Melee combat ought to count unarmed combat as well as with weapons - but then, since you specifically mention a different unarmed combat stat, perhaps you ought to change 'melee' to 'swordsmanship' or 'zanjutsu'. [That was hella confusing.]
♣ Trivia/Quotes
All good on this front! I'd still like to know her history, I think it'd make some more of this make sense, but overall this section is an interesting look at her character.
In conclusion... I think Kirei is an interesting and 3D character, even if she's not exactly 'balanced' or 'normal'
First thing I would like to say is I dislike it when people make Ocs that are related to canon characters, for two reasons one these characters are usually bland, and merely banking on the canon character's populatiry, and unless it is blantantly said that the character has siblings, I don't think fans should make up silbings, and even when they do, fans don't have a place filling those positions.
But this is only a personal thing, and since I can't stop people from doing it I gotta deal with it. However, if there is one thing I must say about Kirei as Grimmjow's sister is you did a good job, keeping that fact as more of a side note, and making her, her own character, and non-dependent on who her brother is, for the most part.
next I'd like to talk about her personality now for most of it I like her personality its alright. She's fairly closed up aside from the people close too her, and she won't go out of her way to make friends, its a common trait among Ocs, but its bare-able if they have good reason. Most of her other personality traits are fairly Realistic, but a few things caught my eye, for one She's Shy talking about intimate subjects, but she's fine with exposing herself, doesn't make much sense too me.
I would also like to say something about her being mentally unstable, and that would be that a character doesn't have tp be messed up, or have a dark past to be interesting.
Bringing attention to her zanpakuto now, for the most part, I like her zanpakuto, but one thing I have a problem with is her zanpakuto's motif is Self-Sacrifice, and that is in the wielder's body being harmed by the very use of the blade. However the point of of self sacrifice is to give, and get nothing in return, whereas the hand cut from the sword, bleeds and then the blood from the wound can be used as a weapon, and is even the user's most useful ability, which in my opinion is not self-sacrifice.
Officially it says Kirei is a vizard, and yet she has a resurreccion, this to me doesn't make much sense, I know this has been pointed out before; however it doesn't sit right with me. For one She's a vizard, not an arrancar so in turn she can't have a resurreccion and even if her inner hollow does take control of her body when she's near death and unconscious, like in the instance of when Ichigo became a vasto lorde, after getting a hole blown in his chest. That would be a case of Out of control, full hollowfication not a resurreccion, which from what I've read is the same with Kirei.
for her fighting style, I like it, she's a strong hand to hand combatant, while not being all that good at armed combat or Kidou, which I think is a good balance.
for the most part, You've created a good Oc, who I hope you will be able to grow upon, and hone into something more.
before ending this I would just like to say that this is all is merely based on my own knowledge and personal ideals.
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